11 years ago Amanda was born and in our hearts she stays forever our 9 year old daughter. I remember so well when she was born. From day one there were tears of joy and at the same time tears of pure fear. The minute she was born they took her straight away to the NICU. I told Mike to follow her and not to let her out of his sight, to memorize what she looked like and don't come back until she was ok. He came back to me with tears running down his face and all he could say is she was hooked up to all these machine and tubes and didn't know how she was going to do.
Every year on her birthday we celebrated, we went all out, made sure that on that day no matter what together with our family and friends it was all about having a good day, a day she could remember as great, not being a sick kid but just a normal happy kid.
Birthdays in our family were all great celebrations but now no matter how hard we try to celebrate, it being a birthday or a holiday the meaning has changed so very much. You try to cope and focus on those loving happy feelings but there is always this empty feeling, the feeling of missing Amanda so much that it overwhelms you.
Today is Amanda's birthday and the tears are still rolling down our faces remembering that precious day 11 years ago and also feeling the pain in our hearts wanting to celebrate but unable to do so.
Our dearest Amanda Happy Birthday we love you and miss you deeply
With all our Love
Mike and Monica